Romans are fucking crazy

This is so beautiful I had to share it with the world. Catullus was a Roman love elegist/poet with a bit of a temper. This is his response to somebody calling him a wanker or something.

Catullus 16
Translated by Matthew Nisinson, Latin Major, Class of 2004

I will ass-rape and mouth-fuck the both of you
Butt-boy Aurelius and ass-wiggler Furius,
You, who think from my little verses.
Because they're a bit soft, that I'm not properly sexed.
Indeed it is fitting for the pious poet to be pure
himself, it is not at all necessary that his light verses be;
which in the end have wit and charm,
if they are erotic and abnormal,
and happen to incite sexual excitement,
I don't mean in boys, but in those shaggy folk
Who being stiff are unable to pump their loins.
You, who have read about many thousands of kisses
Do you think that I am not a real man?
I will ass-rape and mouth-fuck the both of you.

(no subject)

Another few things, that I just want to type for the hell of it:

I was dozing off in Methods, and as such started seeing things. The coolest (and most unsettling) was a giant spectral black hand reaching out from the back curtain and swatting at Grabowski.

At Nearly New, I solved all my problems of rehearsal clothes (or will shortly) and found enough plates and silverware to keep Sunday Feasts in business forever. And I swear, if any of you goes and buys the bright red cords in there, I will, repeat I WILL eat your soul on toast. Those are MINE.

Yeah, awesome, time for rehearsal!